teary eyed alone in my room

I am SO uneasy with my life right now.

I don't want 2009 to end, but I don't think you could do ANYMORE to it to make a difference...

2009 was the BEST and worst year of my life.

I am scared for the future.

I don't know what I really want to do with my life anymore.

I am not as motivated as I once was, but I know it's because I don't have Lenny asking me every time he'd listen to me complain, "But you love it, right?" He's not there to remind me that I really do, and now I'm lost.

I miss lazy days. I miss touring. I miss when I was fun and talked a lot and laughed a lot and was stressed but didn't stress.

I think I might temporarily close this blog. I don't think it's become what I want it to be.